I have long admired the wisdom that comes in children's books. Seems some of our most complicated times in our lives can really be so simply solved. I often look for simple solutions.. try to weed out the unnecessary and keep the core issues in view. EGO is often the weed that over takes the issues. Maturity will balance the EGO and in time, we hope, EGO will subside. My mantra lately has been
LET IT GO.
Keep the core issue in sight.
One of my most favorite books that I was gifted with was
I recommend it to any woman - any age.
One of my most "This is what I know now" ahhhaaas is this.
I am learning to accept some people for who they are. I would like to change them... to help them come into
a better place in their world. This is especially true of someone who I love dearly. But I am projecting my beliefs onto them. Who am I to say what is best for them? What I try to do is offer my support on their terms, if they ask. I have friends who go through trials and challenges and often all they need is just someone to vent with. I also have long believed that LOVE means I love you no matter what. Unconditional LOVE. Not that I will let you walk all over me. But I will allow you your path.
My husband and I are learning about elderly life through our moms. I often try to put myself in their shoes. I think the thing that is most unsetteling for older folk, is the threat of losing their SELF and respect and understanding from others. We adult children try to help and guide, but there is often a resistance to our help. Here's where I have learned:
allow some time and space. Their path is theirs.. and as with anyone, walk a mile in their shoes.
Compassion is what I am talking about.
I had a great friend who was 30 years older than me.. from my parents' generation. She was spry, very opinionated, and very kind. I complimented her on how viavacious she was at her age.
She smiled, thanked me, and replied:
"Getting old ain't for sissies."
Wise words from a wise woman.
Years ago, living in an unhappy place in my life, I would go to sleep at night and invision a cabin in the woods. It was my sanctuary where I could someday live. A place where I could live without fear of criticism or unkind consequences. I built that cabin in my mind every night for over a year. Every room, every detail is still vivid in my mind. There was a huge fireplace in the living room.. the heart of the cabin. Above the fireplace made of stone, embedded in the wall, a huge beam of wood. And on that beam I carved
"I WILL NOT SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, I WILL INDEED ROCK THE BOAT"
Because in my first two marriages, that was the over riding rule... to sit down, shut up and not rock the boat.
If I ever list regrets in my life, it will be that I didn't shun this rule and learn to be more outspoken.
Speaking our truth in kindness shouldn't be a bad thing.
So when I read this Dr.Suess quote, it resinated with me.
And that cabin? I live there now. Because it's in my heart and soul... my inner sanctuary.
It is where I go when life hurls hate, meaness and sadness at me.
And that wooden beam with the carved words?
.... still glowing from the soft warm light, the edges of the wood worn
where I have traced it with my fingers.
May we all find peace and harmony.
May we all have respect and understanding.
Because KINDNESS MATTERS.